it's sad to see you smile.

whenever i see a photo of you smiling, and having fun, instead of being happy for you, i feel sad. knowing that even without me, you are still happy. i wish i was more like you. carefree,no worries of yesterday, just happy.
and every photo of your smile, it hurts me so much because i know you can go on with your life even without.

i really thought that you would want to continue what we have, but i realized, you dont want me to be a part of your life anymore. you dont want be to be an inconvenience anymore. you led me to believe that we can work things out, that we can still communicate or even see each other. but they're just empty words, empty promises.

i can really feel that you are happy, with your life, with your girl, with your work. and i know that i dont have a place in your life anymore. sometimes i want to regret having to meet you again. i was fine when you were not a part of me, and now, i am back to wanting you. i am back to this place i call my Ultimate Pain.

i dont know what kind of power you have over me. i dont know what you have that makes me want to hold on to your memories. all i know is that i am stuck. i wish you gave me a proper closure. a one-liner saying that you dont want me anymore. i wish you'd just stop getting my hopes up. i wish you'd just stop pretending that you still care. because i know you dont. but i really wish you could say that to me. i wish you could make me realize that i dont really need you.

i wanna hate you, but i cant. coz deep inside, i know i still love you.......................................................

i miss you..

i wish there are better words to let you know how i truly feel. i want to be angry at you, i want to say things that can make you angry.and yet, all i can say right now is I MISS YOU.

last night, i had a dream that i was with you. we were actually together, in the same bed, lying so peacefully and contentedly. i can honestly say that you were happy to be with me. but that was only a dream. if only i didn't have to wake up.

i remember those nights that we shared; when you'd put your arms around me, it's like you're scared of losing me while you're sleeping..but you know,i was more scared, because i know, when the morning comes, everything will be over. we both know that it has to end, i just can't convince myself to accept that.

i remember the way you held my hand, its like you were dreaming. its like, you cant believe that i was actually there beside you. i so remember you're reaction. you were tensed, but i saw you smiling too. oh, i just miss your smile, its like they always mean something, its like  you were really happy; but only that time.

i remember the way you hugged me.so tight and so real. i can feel your heart beating.its like you were nervous to be with me.


i remember a lot of things that we shared. but i also remembered that i can't be with you. as much as i would want to, i remember that we can't be together. i remember the pain that it has caused me.

somehow, i just want to remember how to forget about you. that's the only thing i seem to forget. can you help me remember how to forget about you??